Focus on What Matters- Momtra No. 4

Phew! Christmas 2016 is a wrap! (More like an unwrap really). I don’t know about all of you, but I’m exhausted today. All the planning and all the procrastinating planning. All the cooking and all the procrastinating cooking. All the shopping and and all the last minute procrastinating shopping. (Seriously, Amazon Prime Now saved Christmas for me this year). All the wrapping and all the procrastinating wrapping. The stressing out and taking it out on the kids. The holiday parties. The family getting together. The movie going. The wine toasting. And the way overeating. Done. Until next year, when I’ll do it all over again…well, almost all. I won’t be taking out my stress on my kids next year. Maybe you did this too? I’m the one who procrastinated, yet they are the ones who got the yuckiness of a Mom who was losing it on Christmas Eve at about t-minus 2 hours before the guests arrived for dinner. Not fair to them. Not cool at all. I could definitely do better. Even as I was running around the house and trying to get all those (literally) last minute things done, I was so very aware.

Awareness can be such a great teacher, if you let it. I was aware of how fast my heart was racing. I was aware of how tight my neck and shoulders were getting. I was aware of my stress level rising and then rising some more. I was aware of the ferocious reptile that was hijacking my brain. And I was fully aware when I unleashed on my kids. I really could have used a good Momtra at the time. Everything was a blur. And like so often is the case in life and as parents, hindsight is 20/20. It wasn’t until this morning- the morning after the chaos, that I came up with the right Momtra: Focus On What Matters. Oh! I knew that! But I forgot, and maybe you did too. We all need reminders.

So what does matter? Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Diwali or Eid, these holidays are really not meant to be about the material things. It’s easy to forget that with the bombardment of ads and commercials that capture our attention with their “unbeatable, unbelievable, everything half-off holiday sales.” Add to that the Facebook and Instagram posts of everyone preparing and counting down to the over-glamorized holiday. Along with the insanely long lines for pictures with Santa Claus. And the ridiculously long Amazon gift wish lists from our kiddos…you know, “in case you need some help.” Is this the stuff that matters??

I’m pretty sure that centuries ago people weren’t frantically running around town trying to find the perfect gift for their 10 year old. Nor were they staying up late and researching the perfect holiday decor on Pinterest And they were not emptying their savings account and reaching their credit limits just to host the perfect get together for friends and family. It was a simpler time I’m guessing and I’m pretty sure it wasn’t perfect. The Holidays are meant to be about the Spirit of the Season. So if we could just blur all the hype to the background for a moment, we may remember, and be able to focus on what matters.

What matters is the kindness that we show to the stranger in front of the Trader Joe’s. And the kindness that we show to our children. The compassion that we have for our friends that are struggling. And the compassion we have for our children. The tolerance we have for people whose beliefs are different than our own. And the tolerance we have for our children. It is about the love we have for people near and far. And the love we have for our children. It is about spending quality time with our aging parents, if we’re lucky enough to still have them. And it’s about spending quality time with our children. As Reverend Jesse Jackson said, “Your children need your presence more than your presents.”

Here’s what I know- life is unpredictable and tomorrow is not promised. We need to cherish what we have today. All those outward appearances we are so concerned with? Those things are not where we need to be focusing our time and energy. We are Mamas (and Papas). So instead, let’s focus on enjoying the miracles of the moments…they go so fast and magically become memories. Focus on what matters. Everything else? It can all wait.

Wishing you and your family a beautiful Holiday Season filled with J.E.W.E.L.S.